First of all. my cranky old birthday is coming and please blow a candle and wish me dead. It's my 1ooth birthday!!!!! Never once wonder how a pumkin can live so long eh? DO NOT FORGET, cause I'm PUMKIN!!!! Okay, that's damn lame. Let's get on with it.
I have actually started piling up stuff under stupid things people do and recently, I noticed this is all useless. One look at the paper and you have got yourself an endless load of stupid stuff. But, throwing away the list would be oh-so-wasteful so I decided to post. T-T Not entirely.


Stupid stuff people do

AHH! NICKY HERE! I CANNOT HELP BUT TO PROBE IN! *TSK*! ASH!!! YOUR GRAMMAR AND TENSES SERIOUSLY NEED EDITING!
Ps.I shall bold whatever I have edited *smug grin*
(( I thank you for your KINDNESS but you seems to have edit too much. I smell a lot of you and some parts, you didn't even BOLD. So then, I shall RE-EDIT. ))

1) Queuing up for a so called ' cats without mouth ' for hours under the sun at Mac's.

HELLO????(Nicky:hi) This is shear STUPIDITY. Who the hell queue for hours to end just to get a couple of dolls that has no mouth, dressed up in stupid (Nicky: May I add fugly?) clothes that will rot with time and before you know it, you hold it up, look at it and say " This is ugly. " before throwing it into the rubbish chute? There're millions of shops selling ' cats without mouth ' and for your information, there is no need to queue.

2) Lining up just to get some lousy free stuff.

No comments. That is just plain singaporean kaisu.

(I just can't stand it anymore! I GOTTA REWRITE THIS!)
Rewritten by Nicky: I'm utterly speechless. This is plain kiasuism! *tsk!* Typical Singaporeans! (( Pum: May I add what is wrong with my sentance???? T-T# plus, your sentance really sounds weird ))

3) Sitting in front of the computer with webcam on, half-naked, mouthing the words to some songs and posting millions of the same video with different songs on the web.

Dear sir. How old are you exactly? Why are you behaving like this? Do you have a body like Vincent (Ng)? No you don't. You have a body like William Hung. And that's an understatement. William Hung is so much smaller in size (Nicky: Much cuter too). And nobody really cares about seeing how you act like a fool and mouth words to songs that people care about. And you are half-naked. Only people watching porn sits half-naked in front of the computer. God knows if you are fully-naked. That would be utterly horrible and people would phone the police going " Help!! There is a naked man in his house mouthing words to songs. " Furthermore, this is bringing shame to all Singaporeans and we really don't need the excess shame. (Nicky: *Curses* This ain't funny! Oh no it ain't funny! It's making my eyes bleed!!! OH THE HORROR! )

4) Queuing up for an audition to take part in Singapore idol while wearing yellow troy-like-costume and waving a card that says you puck eye***** for a mere $5.

Dear same sir. Not only will you damage your reputation in front of the judges, it will also rot away in front of the whole world. We Singaporeans are an old bunch. We only take kindly to jokes like " Careless whisper, Nong Nong ago and the banana man " . At least they are funny. Yours is NOT, MAY I REPEAT, NOT funny. It is a laughing stock! It has the power to turn laughter into curses. That is how powerful it is. And then hor, no one actually PLUCK eye***** while queuing up to take part in Singapore idol. Instead, they rehearse. If you would really like to amuse people with your "funny" antics please, DO migrate to America and join the variety show entitled "Just for laughs". Though I doubt you will even go anywhere near the stage, at least you will be able to make a living as a famous eye**** pucker in the states. The Americans have bushy eyebrows you see. But please, on a serious note, do not reveal to ANYONE that you were once a Singaporean. We have weak hearts and will not take kindly to any form of shame.

5) Strip whatever you are wearing infront of celebrities making Fann cry and Mark storm out of the recording room.

Dear same sir again. How many letters would you like me to write to you to warn you? Mark is a comedian. Comedians usually have have more will power to tolerate shame than us, typical Singaporeans. But even he cannot stand it. And Fann being an A lister, actually cried when you did your act. I don't really care if you have anything underneath cause even Mediacorp thinks it's too repulsive to stamp the image on Singaporeans. Especially young singaporeans. Imagine what they will grow up to become if they take you as their role model? But even with the cover-up, it pretty much caused a huge stirr. Cause no one strips on a variety show. Strippers strip in private parties. Some don't even strip fully. The act is plain dumb! dumb ass! idiotic! It's the stupiest thing I ever saw!! Now I have a problem. I don't know which name is suitable for you, media slut or media slut? Hmm..... Please allow me time to think this over. And also, stay away from our beloved Mediacorp until we forget your face. which I assume, will be a mightly long time.

Ps. Even if we do, please don't go near Mediacorp.

6) Get yourself pregnant before you even know it.

Okay........ First things first, 9 years old is a time whereby you actually bond with the guys. Not bond as in bond but bond. You play catching in the fields, buy catching, spider catching, hopscotch. You don't, try activities in bed until you are of the age that even your parents want you to DO SOMETHING!!! And, pardon me, girls usually don't become ripe at this age. They get ripe only when other too, get ripe. Imagine running on the field with guys when your **** falls out. Being the thick headed wood block they are, the guys might even mistake it for a diaper. (( pum: I love this sentance. )) And what is wrong with that guy anyway?? Shouldn't he be running on the field, falling in love with the sun, the dirt, the grass, the bugs BUT not of all things, girls. Cause such a tender age, no boys will give a damn about girls. Can you imagine that your child is only 9 years younger than you? (Nicky: BLOODY HELL! MY SISTER IS 9YEARS YOUNGER THEN ME! Pum: I have a cousin whose brother is 13 years younger than him. ) When you are of marriagable age, your child will ALSO be old enough to hook a hubby and have s*x. Might as well hold a double wedding and get married together with your child. Imagine your child getting married before you! OH THE HORROR! More ever at the age of 9, you have already achieved stretch marks, the rubber tummy skin and a child to take care of! *claps*




1) Invent a program that millions of people will buy that can only be downloaded once and earn millions.. Did I say millions? I meant BILLIONS!



3) Invent spongebob squarepants.


4) Adore spongebob spuarepants.